síocháin a mise
"

Children should remain silent, and they are ‘good’ when they’re quiet, but ‘bad’ when they are not, because they are disturbing the adults and causing trouble. This attitude runs through the way people interact with children on every level, and yet, they seem surprised when it turns out that children have been struggling with serious medical problems, or they’ve been assaulted or abused.

The most common response is ‘well why didn’t the child say something?’ or ‘why didn’t the child talk to an adult?’ Adults constantly assure themselves that children know to go to a grownup when they are in trouble, and they even repeat that sentiment to children; you can always come to us, adults tell children, when you need help. Find a trusted adult, a teacher or a doctor or a police officer or a firefighter, and tell that adult what’s going on, and you’ll be helped, and everything will be all right.

The thing is that children do that, and the adults don’t listen. Every time a child tells an adult about something and nothing happens, that child learns that adults are liars, and that they don’t provide the promised help. Children hold up their end of the deal by reporting, sometimes at great personal risk, and they get no concrete action in return. Sometimes, the very adult people tell a child to ‘trust’ is the least reliable person; the teacher is friends with the priest who is molesting a student, the firefighter plays pool with the father who is beating a child, they don’t want to cause a scene.

Or children are accused of lying for attention because they accused the wrong person. They’re told they must be mistaken about what happened, unclear on the specifics, because there’s no way what they’re saying could be true, so and so isn’t that kind of person. A mother would never do that. He’s a respected member of the community! In their haste to close their ears to the child’s voice, adults make sure the child’s experience is utterly denied and debunked. Couldn’t be, can’t be, won’t be. The child knows not to say such things in the future, because no one is listening, because people will actively tell the child to be quiet.

Children are also told that they aren’t experiencing what they’re actually experiencing, or they’re being fussy about nothing. A child reports a pain in her leg after gym class, and she’s told to quit whining. Four months later, everyone is shocked when her metastatic bone cancer becomes unavoidably apparent. Had someone listened to her in the first place when she reported the original bone pain and said it felt different that usual, she would have been evaluated sooner. A child tells a teacher he has trouble seeing the blackboard, and the teacher dismisses it, so the child is never referred for glasses; the child struggles with math until high school, when someone finally acknowledges there’s a problem.

This attitude, that children shouldn’t be believed, puts the burden of proof on children, rather than assuming that there might be something to their statements. Some people seem to think that actually listening to children would result in a generation of hopelessly spoiled brats who know they can say anything for attention, but would that actually be the case? That assumption is rooted in the idea that children are not trustworthy, and cannot be respected. I’m having trouble understanding why adults should be viewed as inherently trustworthy and respectable, especially in light of the way we treat children.

"

Children Talk But No One Listens – this ain’t livin’ (via unsungtale)

s.e.smith/meloukhia is a dear friend of mine, who is also made of everything that is amazing in the world.

People, read this and pay attention.

(via ouyangdan)

Extremely important in cases of molestation and abuse.

(via hebrideansky)

Fixed the link.

(via youbestnotmiss)

bigbardafree:

deciding i was pretty was the best thing that i ever did

one day i was just like

fuck this im pretty

and i was

FRIENDLY REMINDER FOR US COLLEGE-BOUND STUDENTS

howtogrowthefuckup:

SO HELP ME GOD YOU LITTLE SHITS BETTER USE FAFSA.GOV TO FILL OUT YOUR FUCKING FAFSA.

IF YOU PAY $88 TO FILE YOUR FAFSA AT FAFSA.COM, I WILL SMACK THE DUMB LOOK RIGHT OFF YOUR DAMN FACES. FAFSA.COM IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE US DEPARTMENT OF ED. THEY ARE BAD PEOPLE WHO WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY AND CHARGE YOU TO FILL OUT A FREE FORM.  A FREE FUCKING FORM. FREE IS THE FIRST WORD IN THE ACRONYM!

.GOV IS LOVE. .COM IS A PUTRID POOL OF FUCKERY.

-THE VERY ANGRY SUDDEN ADULT

myownpersonalstar:

kauvera:

supernatural-aka-tearsandgay:

wiener-cest:

demeaniac:

STOP SCROLLING

straighten your back, mate

NOW GO ON

woah thanks i really needed that today

tumblr user demeaniac doing little favors for tumblr one post at a time

FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME

PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING it is the best reminder for me ever and I always need it omg

Im lying down how do I do this

thefatgirlblog:

"All these young girls getting themselves pregnant"

Wow, self impregnating teenage girls, these men should be afraid, we as woman are evolving at alarming rates.

akoyam:

ohmygil:

shintenbunshin:

literally nothing can ever top this

this is on a whole other level

secretly collecting ALL OF THESE.

tigersdrinktea:

“Blow minds, not dudes” 

Actually you can do both! What a concept! That women can be intelligent as well as sexually active! And we don’t live in the goddamn 18th century and women don’t have to be pure little virgin housewives if they don’t want to! Oh my gosh!

girldwarf:

once my English professor gave a girl a clean, flat F on her paper because throughout the whole paper, she kept calling Black people in Britain “African-Americans”

seaworlcl:

IM LAUGHIGN SO HARD

MY GREAT AUNT FRIENDED SOMEONE WITH THE SMAE NAME AS ME ON FACEBOOK THINKING IT WAS ME 

image

the girld idnt even question it ic ant breathe